Just like old times...

I have been getting up pretty early to work out in the morning. Therefore, I have been feeling a bit tired in the afternoon. Yesterday I was feeling that way and I was freezing. So, I grabbed some books and told Bodie to go climb in my bed and we would snuggle and read.

Well after Hop on Pop and the ABC Book my eyes were heavy. I told Bo to look at books or he could go play in his room. I have the ability to take a "nap" and "hear" everything that is going on....it is a Mom thing. I woke up to this next to me....

It was the sweetest part of my day...

Three Hundred and Fifty Nine...

NOTE: This is long, but if you want to get to know me better read on....

The blogging world is strange. I think a blog will fall into one of three groups:

Fluffy: The ones that make you think, "Is this person's life real?".
TMI: You read them and think "Wow, did they really just post that and put a photo to go with it?".
Keepin' it Real: Then there are the ones that seem to be a balance of both and just seem real.

Sometimes I think mine leans towards the Fluffy side. Not because I go to Europe four times a year and brag about it, buy a new home with all the bells and whistles before the age of thirty, dress my kids in only Gymboree or end all my sentence with "the best ever!!!

The reason I feel like I lean towards fluffy is because I think you will be hard pressed to find a post about what is really going on in my mind. I hope my blog doesn't give the impression that my life is all rainbows, roses and tied up in a pretty bow. It is not! Sometimes I wish I was brave enough to write more openly. But I don't want to be a TMI blog. So I keep writing about the rainbows in my life....So in an effort to post something in the Keepin' it Real blog group I want to write about Motherhood.

It's hard to be a Mom! I really struggle sometimes. When I have good moments I feel really good. But I feel like I mess up on an hourly basis. I wake up thinking this will be the day that I don't mess it all up! Sometimes I get so tied up in the details of being a mother that I feel like I am not stopping to enjoy all the snuggles, quit times, soft teaching moments and telling my kids that I love them. I tell them all the time, but can you say that enough? I know my kids are thriving, smart and are growing up to be great little human beings. But one of my biggest fears is having them look back on their childhood and think that their Mother was one of the most highstrung people in the world. I am terrified that during my impatient moments I am embedding that in their memory and they will just hate me for it in the future. I know I am guilt of not letting them do kids stuff because it doesn't jive with me trying to micro-manage everthing they do. I feel like sometimes the only thing I am telling them is "Stop it", Don't, Quit it!"

Sidenote: This will illustrate what I am talking about with the memory thing. One time when I was about 7 we were out on a sand dune. I was with my Dad and some of my siblings. The vehical that we were driving got stuck and I started to cry because I was scared. My Dad told me to be quite in his mad voice. I remember being so hurt by that. Hurt that he didn't understanding why I was upset and offer my some comfort. As I look back at that incident as a parent, he just wanted me to shut up so that he could concentrate on finding out what was wrong with the car. I get it as adult why my Dad was so mad and needed me to be quite right away. I have other memories like this too. But I get it now as adult why as a kid you think your parents aren't listening to you or don't understand you. But they do.

So return to me and my role as a Mom. Sometimes I look at my kids and think, "Oh, my word there are three of them and they look for me to solve their problems or at least teach them how to solve their problems. And do you know what goes through my mind...."I'm not qualified for this!" Although, I am 37, in sooooo many ways I don't feel like I any more mature than I was when I was 14!

So there it is when you talk about confidence and my ability to handle Motherhood I am about a 5 on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm just talking about my confidence. The product I am producing as a result of my effort being a Mom is of course a 10+ !

Rowdy made my day last night when he said "Mom, I'm never going to forget the promise we made. The promise that I will never be to big or grown up to hold your hand!" I told him, "Me neither, buddy." So, I guess I'm not doing to bad

One hundred and ninety-six...

I had a VERY unique opportunity to be kid free for two days. Well sort of. The kids have each had a chance this summer to spend a couple of days up at my Moms by themselves for some special Grandma Mickie time. I signed Rowdy and Avery up for a one week day camp this summer and they had a BLAST! The camp was from 9 to 4:30 for a week. So I decided to take advantage of that and send Bodie to my Mom's for part of the week.

My initial thought was I am going to stay at the house and get some work done. Then I thought better of it. I had a gift certificate for a pedicure...went and did that, are you kidding me!!! I also know a very special gal that gives the best pedicures and facials so I called her and she squeezed me in for a facial. Oh my word!!! When I left her place I felt like I had 5 years taken off my face.

It felt very strange to be running around getting such things done without the feeling of I need to pick someone up or hurry back to the house and make lunch and get Bodie down for his nap. I literally couldn't relax the way I wanted to. After I left the place where I got my facial, I feel like I had a small panic attack. I almost didn't know what to do with myself. I forced myself to go to Borders and browse around and then go get lunch. I had nothing to go back to the house for and didn't need to pick The Bigs up yet. It was a strange feeling to just have some free time...real free time. Man I need to take a chill pill!

One hundred and sixty-five...

Avery was almost 1 in this picture. Not too shocking that her cozy is right by her side. I just wanted to blog about how much this little girl likes books. Sometimes, when we are shopping and we stop to look around in the toy section she can be found on the floor with a book. Often she will just blaze right throught the girls toys and nothing will catch her eye. But when we are near the books she will always find one to flip through. The photo below is a prime example of her nature. We had stopped in to take birthday treats to Rowdy's 1st grade class at the end of the year and this is where Avery settled in...the reading corner.

At bedtime she will say "I'm not tired, going to bed is boring". So my solution is to simply tell her that she doesn't have to go to sleep, but she has to be in your bed and she can read books. It works like a charm...she looks at books for awhile and then she will even get out of bed and turn her light off and tuck back it. I do have some sucessful Mom moments weaved in among all the crazy ones!

One hundred and thirty five...

Just a super quick post. I am up to my eye balls in ending the year at the preschool (Avery's last year), end of the year parties and activities at Rowdy's school, t-ball, doctors appointments for the kids, extra dance classes, Avery's dance recital and deciding what to do for Rowdy's 7th birthday party. Also, I have been lucky enough to have several photography sessions since announcing the start of ...the daisy patch. I have added running a small, very small photography business to the list. I am super behind on posting but I will catch up soon.

One hundred and twenty-nine...

Lately, I have noticed Rowdy's little freckles on his nose...how cute is that? He and I got to go on a little outing yesterday, just he and I. It was really nice because this is a really rare thing for us. We talked about all sorts of stuff. I took him to Walmart to spend a $10 gift card that he got at school for collecting "eagle eyes" (a little ticket that they get for being safe, responsible or respectful). He bought a little transformer and a candy bar! Woo Hoo! When we got home he said, "Mom, everyday if I do my homework quickly and it is all correct, can you give me $10?" Hey, you can't blame him for trying a proposal like that!